• Arby's is Ghetto ...








    This entire franchise has slipped into the prehistoric age and opened themselves upon for epic fail and also epic lawsuit.

    Someone should send a memo to Headquarter's, wherever they're located, and tell them to come pick up their fallen comrades because it's just downright embarrassing. Neon lights on the wall? Fake potted plants in triangle islands? Pink and Green? Seriously. This is '80's -- but in the worst possible way. I've seen better Greyhound bus stations with more appeal.

    Remember Arby's motto back in the '90's?

    Come into the Hat.

    Wow. Thank god their mascot wasn't a SOCK! Who came up with that one? What a winner. Fire that guy if they haven't done so already. If they're retired, hire them again -- and fire them one more time for good measure. That and their patented 'stink sauce' will get your stomach quickly convulsing.

    The phallic cowboy hat logo that expresses width over length (w/r=n) is troubling enough. Who are they marketing that at? Little guys with Napolean complexes that eat shredded beef that looks labial-esque? You people are killing me.

    Note to HQ:

    1. Refurb your goddamned restaurants. No one wants to eat in a dump. Dump being the operative word. Imagine what the toilets look like if the lobby looks like this.

    2. Streamline your mascot, icons, point-of-sale, menu choices. Learn a lesson or two from Jack in The Box -- master's of re-inventing themselves.

    3. Get rid of your Pepsi products. They're killing your business. They'r not even golden handcuffs, but concrete blocks around your feet. Pepsi is killing your brand with disinterest. Best Buy did away with HD-DVD and cleared the confusion, follow suit. Get rid of these godawful soda's that are more like suicide potions. Who the hell wants to drink Sugar-free Sobe Cranberry soda? BARF! No one. Aspartame? Are you kidding me? Google it. Not even McDonald's is that crazy.

    4. Make sure that your employees don't come in inappropriately dressed before their shift starts and gobble down curly fries in a mad rush. How hard is it to make sure these people come in with clean uniforms? Disgusting. C'mon, now.

    5. Put a highlight on nutrition instead of a warming light above the fries.


    Arby's -- where all your dreams and appetite ... go to die.

    Arby's -- Come into the coffin.

    Arby's -- Come into the bathroom.


    "I'll take a fat hat with cheese, curly fries with horse sauce and a diet Pepsi Fail."




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