I don't know what it is about being up at night with dental pain, not enough meds to quell it, black tea and too much time alone ... but the brain is jolted without doubt. I'd trade it all if I could just slip into bed and call it a day, but it's not in the cards tonight.
Maybe it's the process of writing and the doors that reopen in the mind once you start down those pathways. Who knows? Vague enough for ya yet? Maybe this may mean something to someone down the road in years to come. Maybe I'm sending myself messages from the past into the future and only realizing them now.
My brain is in Alaska as is all my current yellow pads. I don't know what it is when you start writing about death and betrayel but even bright light on hot days seems muted. Some of this stuff has a tendency to put an opaque filter over everything until it's no longer required. The sad truth though is that you don't always have the ability to remove the lens and see things clearly until it removes itself. It's like a math lecture close to 5pm ... you're ready to go, but you're stuck there, unable to break free.
It's late ... I should call it no matter if I can sleep or not ... damn the pain ...